Coffee Tawk

Friends! Many of you are new, and it’s been awhile — coming up on two years! — since introductions, so let’s take a moment. Pour yourself a proper coffee, a cuppa, or a drink. Maybe a breakfast cookie to pair it with. You know I love a breakfast cookie.

Lots to cover.

Let’s talk about links, baby.

The other day my husband asked me something.

I was reading so it didn’t register at all.

Luckily, he then said, “Jen, may I have your attention?”

And I said, “Yeah” but forgot and kept reading.

Then he said nicely again, “Chicken? Can I please ask you something? Can you give me your attention?”

And then I stopped reading and paid attention.

Welcome to ADHD.

Anyhoodle, my husband said, “Do you think everyone knows that underlined text in your posts means there’s a link?”

“Yes!” Pause. “I think so. Maybe. Actually I have no idea.”

It was a great question.

So yes, underlined text contains links that take you to citations or additional information or resources. Or sometimes just an Easter egg for my own amusement.

Providing these support materials takes as much time as writing. I do it because I think it’s worthwhile. I encourage you check stuff out.

About me: if you don’t know who the heck I am…

You can read my bio on my newly refurbished (by moi) author website, including links to various interviews.

You can find out about my books - I write novels for young adults and essays for grown ups - here.

Buy my books! Or read them from the library and then rate them on a reading app! It truly does help boost an author’s sales — and spirits.

About the weekly-ish-ness of posts:

When I started Unruly Quaker, I was between day jobs, I had not begun my graduate certificate program, and I didn’t have new books coming out. In other words: I had a LOT more time for UQ.

My goal was a weekly post that was substantial, with maybe an additional weekly post recommending fun stuff.

My goal remains weekly posts of substance.

But sometimes weekly … slips.

Look, I do NOT equate “busy-ness” with worthiness. I think “busy-ness” and being “productive” is not just overrated, it’s a pathology of capitalism.

Being busy is not the brag we think it is.

And yet. I’m … busy. Ugh.

Life has changed since I started Unruly Quaker. The biggest shift is that now I have a wonderful job at a wonderful school with wonderful teens, on MWF.

I love this job. It makes me come alive. But/and this job uses my whole heart and my whole brain. There’s no writey-writey those days other than in my journal. (I try to be good about MWF boundaries, but if a student needs help outside of those times, I help.)

the journal in question

I’m also a student, now in my final semester of the extraordinary Center for Prophetic Imagination’s certificate program in Spiritual Direction and Social Transformation.

And there’s Restorative Justice Durham (RJD). I’m usually engaged in an RJ circle, which is wonderful AND takes time and energy.

Plus, I have a book coming out next year and I’m working on another one for after that.

And I try to be a decent human and attend to my communities of belonging.

All of this takes time and effort. So I hope you will forgive me if —when— Unruly Quaker is sometimes late.

About the title: yep, I’m a Quaker and yep, I’m unruly.

What do I mean by unruly?

I mean I don’t like rules unless they are guidelines agreed upon and upheld by a community. Then: great. Yes. Please.

Otherwise, I am prone to ignoring rules or laws I consider pointless, harmful, and/or immoral.

I’m unruly specifically as a Quaker in that I am terrible at committees and I’m impatient as hell with Quaker processes. As much as I identify as a Quaker in my spiritual practices and values, and I truly adore many Quakers in my Meeting, I simply can’t stand some of what’s happening there and I can’t abide forming a committee to consider forming a committee and honestly I often get so irritated that I generally choose to spend my one wild and precious life in other communities of belonging, preferably those with BIPOC leadership.

Uhhh can you tell I’m strong-willed?

See? Unruly.

Especially in solidarity or defense of / with people.

I’m the biggest softie in the whole wide world but I am a fierce mama bear.

Anyway you can read more about why I’m a Quaker here.

About the Great Cosmic Echidna

I don’t evangelize or whatever but I do believe in a Higher Power — and I truly do not think it matters one bit what you or I call it. The Force, God, Allah, Divine Energy, the Universe, or … the Great Cosmic Echidna.

Photo by Enguerrand Photography on Unsplash

Echidnas are my favorite animal on this planet and I often default to the Great Cosmic Echidna as a reference to Spirit or the Divine so as not to turn off my many many non- or even anti-religious friends.

We have such a lovely community of folks here: humans who are spiritual-but-not-religious, strictly atheist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Quaker, and more.

I happen to live with two people who break out in hives at any talk of God or organized prayer, so I am sensitive to God talk.

Our family-dinner prayer is to hold hands, take a deep breath, and say in unison, “Us and this, please bless.”

This comes from an old Quaker blessing, “Us and this, God bless,” but without the, you know.

About money and paid subscriptions:

Please be a paid subscriber if you can.

My guidelines for subscriptions are:

• If you add up the cost of groceries as you shop, and sometimes need to put things back so as not to go over budget, please be a free subscriber. I am so so glad you’re here. Don’t give payment a second thought.

• If you don’t need to do mental math at the grocery, if you can buy what you need, plus some treats, and you have money left in the bank, please become a paid subscriber. Unruly Quaker is a calling and a joy AND … whoo y’all, writing is work. Your monthly payment pays me for my work. Or think of it as treating me to a latte and big cookie at the coffee shop once a month. Equally important, you keep Unruly Quaker free without anyone having to plea their case or feel less-than. Important, because no human is less-than. Equally equally important, it allows me to keep doing unpaid work like facilitating restorative justice circles and other plans I’m hatching. (Stay tuned.)

• Now. If you have enough money that you own a watercraft for pleasure, or you could own a watercraft for pleasure, please subscribe at the founding-member level. You can choose your own annual amount above $80. It is super duper helpful and I super duper appreciate it.

An important correction.

Y’all. You know how my neighbors were snatched and that I thought it was ICE who did the snatching.

Welp, it wasn’t ICE.

Thanks to excellent reporting by Virginia Bridges in the News & Observer, we now know the officers were from Customs and Border Patrol (CBP), which is another armed enforcement wing under the Department of Homeland Security.

My sincere apologies.

CBP though? That seems even more sinister than ICE.

CBP’S deal is to operate within 100 miles of a border or port of entry. So … I guess they’re counting the airport in Raleigh?

This legit gives me the creeps. It seems like an expansion, and escalation.

Just as Trump promised.

Oof.

Anyway when I apologize, I try to think of the harm I caused, to whom, how to repair the harm, and how not repeat it going forward.

Going forward, I will do my best to confirm the bad guys who snatched people. This is difficult, though, because the agents usually do not identify themselves. They may or may not show a badge. Only one of those guys that day had a badge my friend saw. Their tactical vests just said “POLICE.”

So… going forward, and God forbid it keeps happening, I will be more clear that it could be any number of armed branches of DHS. And I corrected it on my post.

Speaking of DHS, I went to look up the year it was founded because a lot of people think ICE is old …

… and I accidentally went on an editing side quest.

Because I reflexively edit published material.

Note: I do not critique or mentally edit friends’ emails or texts. I’m talking about published writing.

I’ll sign off before the side quest but do join me below if you feel so inclined.

Truly, deeply grateful for each and every one of you.

XOXO

J. J.

So, yeah, Homeland Security is a relatively young department. Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security under Trump, notes it poorly in a memo and oh my word this is such bad writing I cannot help myself but edit this travesty of a communiqué.

My editorial notes are bracketed and italicized. I could go on but I have spent too much time already.

Release Date: February 28, 2025

DHS Employees,

[No salutation? Seems disrespectful. You sure that’s the vibe you want to engender?]

Tomorrow marks

[Oh dear. We’re literally on the second word of the first paragraph. I don’t want to be harsh. Should we meet? Maybe you have a learning difference related to writing — if so is totally valid! I work with folks with LDs all the time. If this is the case, though, please run your writing by a reader or editor. This would be an important support for you. Since it doesn’t seem like you did this, I’m going to assume you don’t have an LD or learning difference. Or this did go through an editor, in which case, editor - I’m talking to you. To whom it may concern: Tomorrow is the future. This means you need to use future tense. “Tomorrow will mark...”]

the Department of Homeland Security’s

[add DHS abbreviation here, in parentheses, to orient the reader if you want to use the abbreviation later]

22^nd anniversary. Less

[Grr. Fine. I know I can be pedantic. I guess this is your choice. Generally, if a noun is counted, use “fewer.” If something is measured, use “less”. So: fewer years, less old. But I concede that common usage allows using “less” when describing years.]

than two years after the horrendous

[too florid an adjective for a professional memo, omit]

attacks of September 11, 2001, DHS was formed

[“was formed” = passive voice. Good writing uses active voice, telling us WHO/WHAT performs the action. This is an important tool for conveying clear information and for holding people or institutions accountable. “The 107th U.S. Congress passed the Homeland Security Act, which established the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.”]

to protect all Americans.

[this is a sloppy communication of the mission. Be specific. Ground your statements in history — surely you’re not purposely obfuscating facts?! Tell us DHS’ mission: “With honor and integrity, we will safeguard the American people, our homeland, and our values.” I mean, I don’t love it, but my Representative and Senators didn’t listen to my concerns about overreaction and overreach in 2001 or 2002, so here we are. So. Remind us of the historical core values of DHS: “integrity, vigilance, and respect.” Or do you not know what those mean? Certainly you’re not familiar with integrity since you’re willing to be a stooge for a wannabe-king, liar, and rapist.]

While the tragedy has forever changed us,

[vague, cite examples of how “us” has changed. Also: who is “us”? Americans? Citizens? You’re writing to your employees but now you’re saying, “us.” It’s off-putting if you’re not clear.]

it has also positioned us to be more prepared, more resilient, and more resolved than ever before to keep our homeland secured

[Sigh. Heavy, heavy sigh. So … you’re saying here that the tragedy of 9/11 is what “positioned us” to be more prepared, resilient, and resolved. To be clear: you’re positing that the tragedy, not the U.S. Congress’ response to the tragedy, “positioned” “us”. Lady. This is either a really fucked up way of viewing 9/11 or just bad writing. Or both. Also: who is “us”?]

As the threat landscape continues to evolve,

[What the fuck does this even mean? A “threat landscape?” And “evolve” - is that really the verb you want?]

DHS is there.

[“DHS is there.” Really? That’s the best you can do? “DHS is there” is about as inspiring as watching a cat take a turd in your child’s sandbox. Or are you just glad Elon Musk hasn’t dismantled your Department yet? “We’re still here. Yay.”?]

By air, land, sea, or in cyberspace, the DHS workforce boldly confronts the threats our nation faces every day. We are working diligently

[I appreciate your use of the Oxford comma. Thank you. However — your tenses are whackadoodle. You just used indicative tense in “boldly confronts” and now you’re using present continuous — “are working” — for no good reason. Also - you’re swinging from “us” to “DHS” to “the DHS workforce.” Be clear. Be consistent. Define who you are talking about. Use consistent tenses. “We work” or “We continue to work…”]

to safeguard the southern border, reform our broken

[florid prose. And stop kissing Trump’s ass, it’s grotesque]

immigration system, help Americans in the face of natural disasters,

[this is bad phrasing. Do natural disasters have faces? Or are we facing them? Too, you just used “faces” as a verb in your previous sentence. Now you’re repeating the word, but using it as a … noun? Diction. Word choice matters, dude.]

and prevent cyber security

[“cyber-security” - compound modifiers are hyphenated. This is basic grammar. You are a cabinet secretary, FFS.]

and terror threats. Our mission could not be achieved

[“cannot be achieved.” “Could not be achieved” is bad writing. What are you trying to do to me. My lordt.]

without your extraordinary

[You’re gilding the lily. It whiffs of condescension.]

courage and commitment.

As we settle into a new battle rhythm

[a “new battle rhythm”? Uh. Battle rhythm? Are you just trolling your reader at this point?]

as a Department, we are already seeing achievements.

[“seeing achievements”? So… DHS workers are just like … seeing … stuff? Achievements are just … happening? Do you know that words have meaning? Also — who is “we”?! WHO IS DOING THE ACHIEVEMENTS, WHAT ARE THE ACHIEVEMENTS OMGGGGGG]

Under President Trump our brave men and women in ICE, Border Patrol, and the U.S. Coast Guard have been empowered to use common sense to do their jobs effectively.

[This is meaningless. You’re kissing Trump’s ass while not even telling us anything. How have they been empowered? By whom? How are they using common sense? What common sense? How is this different than “before”? Define what you mean by “effectively”. And you realize — you’re implying that DHS employees were not effective “before,” right? You realize you’re insulting everyone in your entire department?]

ICE arrests of criminal aliens have doubled,

[citations needed. Were they “criminal”? Being present in the U.S. without authorization is not in itself a criminal offense. Where are you getting these numbers?]

and arrests of fugitives at large have tripled.

[Hold on, lady. What is the difference between “fugitives at large” and “criminal aliens”? Are fugitives-at-large U.S. citizens? Also WHERE ARE YOUR CITATIONS?]

Daily border encounters have plunged 94%.

[Passive voice, totally vague. Which border? Encounters with whom? By whom? Plunged is a pretty good verb, kudos, I guess. But — plunged since when? What are you comparing to? Pre-Trump? This seems … hard to believe. You know what would help? Facts. CITATIONS.]

CBP recently encountered the lowest number of apprehensions in a single day in over 15 years.

[Rework. “Encounters” and “encountered” — again you’re using the same word as a noun then as a verb within two sentences. Also WHERE TF ARE YOUR CITATIONS.]

Learn more about what we have accomplished.

[OMG ARE YOU FOR REAL —THESE— ARE YOUR CITATIONS? YOU LINK TO YOUR OWN “FACT SHEET” WITH ZERO DATA, ZERO CITATIONS. NONE. NADA. ZILCH.]

As we look toward

[“toward” is a strange choice here]

the future, I thank you in advance for all you have done,

[um. Okay. You’re thanking your employees IN ADVANCE for all they HAVE DONE? What. Just … wow.]

and will continue to do, in advancing our mission. Your service is a testament of all we have accomplished since the Department’s inception.

[I don’t think this means what you think it means. Their service is a testament to all they have accomplished? Uh … their service isn’t a testament to the accomplishments. Their service … created or generated … the “accomplishments.” Again, this is bad writing. Did you read the copy of The Elements of Style I sent you? It doesn’t seem like you did.]

Together, we can ensure that the United States remains a beacon of freedom, safety, and security for generations to come.

[This isn’t too bad except that the US is an empire that is not a beacon of freedom, safety, or security to most of the people of the world, and a whole lot of people within the U.S. But at least it’s a well-formed sentence. Gorl. Either shape up or get a better editor.]

Kristi Noem
Secretary of Homeland Security