Thursday Noodles 10/19/23

Get your own doona edition

Hey there, friends!

Whew, I know it’s been a rough time, with a LOT of tough stuff going on. Holding so many of you in the light. I’m offering these noodles as (hopefully) a fun diversion.

Noodle 1: separate doonas

doona = Aussie term for duvet

Can you say, “Gamechanger”?

Last year I was asking friends what they do to alleviate menopausal night sweats, as I have the fun experience of being simultaneously freezing cold and sweaty.

Friends offered several solutions, including bamboo bedding and separate blankets / comforters if you share a bed. Apparently they picked this up from trips to Scandinavia, where separate doonas is the done thing.

At first I balked. Bamboo, fine. But separate blankets? What about snuggling? What about … other stuff?

But then I thought about how often my beloved husband, in his sleep, clutches our shared doona like a raptor piercing its razor-like talons into its tender prey, only to then violently jump-roll over, taking the doona with him. Again, he does this in his sleep. I can’t get mad.

So I thought, “Worth a try.”

We started with blankets we already had, so no money was spent if this didn’t go well.

That first night … my God.

I tucked my ice-cold little tootsie-toes into my very own soft little cloud of warmth. There was no turning back.

My husband wasn’t as excited about the separate spheres of our bedcovers, but he sees how much I love it. He hears my happy sighs every night when I climb into bed and wrap my own little tootsies in my own little doona, and then wrap the rest of my own self in my own happy cloud. Like a toasty burrito. He loves me so he goes along with it.

FWIW, I bought fairly inexpensive twin sized bamboo doonas and cotton/linen blend doona covers on Amazon and they are actually quite good quality so far. I also got two sets of bamboo sheets, which somehow magically whisk away sweat so you don’t end up in a bog of cold dampness? I don’t know how. Witchcraft? But good witchcraft.

Noodle 2 - a new hairdo / AI for good / friends who make memes / my perfect match

Sometimes you just need a change. Sometimes that change is actually a return. Like me, from long hair back to a bob.

A story in three scenes.

SCENE ONE: our kitchen.

I tell my husband I’m thinking about going back to a bob. And he wants to see a picture so he can prepare himself. I show him Photo Exhibit A.

Husband: Oh. So you’re thinking of getting ‘The Rachel.’

Me: No! That is not the Rachel. This is the Rachel. (I show him Photo Exhibit B.)

don’t adjust your glasses. it’s a bad, pixelated screenshot

Husband: (skeptically) Hm. What’s the difference?

Me: Are you for real?!

Husband: (cocks an eyebrow) They look the same.

Me: I can’t believe this! (mutter to myself, groan, growl)

I leave the room.

Later I post our conversation on social media because this is what it is for. To garner support for your side in a no-stakes spousal argument.

Many people weigh in, including a surprisingly diverse and vocal #IstandwithNoah contingent.

Memes are shared. Memes are created.

Social media is net evil but this is the type of post that keeps me on Facebook. The creativity, y’all. The effort. They took the time.

Then. AI gets involved, thanks to my friend Stephen, who says, “Why speculate when AI can answer for us?”

Y’all I was very skeptical of AI UNTIL. Until Stephen posts this, which it takes me a moment to see.

I have brilliant friends.

SCENE TWO: the salon check-out counter, after haircut.

Gal ahead of me, to receptionist/cashier: I love my new cut!

Receptionist: It’s such a cute nuevo-shag. Like a modern version of The Rachel.

Receptionist then looks at me: Oh! And you have a cute long- layered bob, like Rachel from later seasons.

I am vindicated.

SCENE THREE: our kitchen again.

Me: (tells Husband scene from salon) Ha! See? Everyone knows it’s a very different hairdo.

Husband: Ok.

Me: For real!

Husband: You know I was just messing with you, right? I can tell the difference.

Me: Whaaa…?

Husband: (smiles, shrugs) I knew it would get your goat. Which it did, clearly, judging by all the activity on your Facebook.

I am … vindicated? No. I am outfoxed.

Well played, sir. Well played indeed.

Noodle 3: a weird magic trick for getting water stains out of wood furniture

Five or so years ago I refinished a thrifted sideboard. It took forever - sanding, sanding, sanding again, stain, another sanding, tung oil, wax - but it did come out great, imho.

And then.

I had one of those pink Himalayan salt lamps and something went wrong and it MELTED on my sideboard. I thought it was ruined. The sideboard. (The lamp was most definitely ruined.)

The pink salt lamp was on a trivet, thus the weird shape of the stain.

And of course the sideboard has accumulated other water stains. These are the price one pays for hosting parties.

#partytax #worthit

The salt stain has been bothering me for years but I truly did not want to refinish the sideboard, so I just put a basket of cloth napkins over it and called it a day.

Well today I had a deadline which means procrastination which means I finally got brave and tried something I’d heard about: mayonnaise.

Yes, mayonnaise.

In hindsight I wish I hadn’t used a really nice cloth napkin. Duh.

I dabbed mayo on a napkin and rubbed it into the water stain. It seemed to help. So I got a little braver and put more mayo on the bad spots, let it sit for about 30 seconds and then just rubbed it in.

The salt stain was gone. Vanished. Kaput.

The round stain especially wasn’t all the way gone, so I put on more mayo, covered it with a cloth, and left it about 20 minutes. Came back and rubbed it in.

I wasn’t really even sure where to take a picture of.

Gone! And NO, the wood is not completely perfect because this is a vintage sideboard, but NO it doesn’t smell like potato salad or rotten eggs. I was a little concerned about that.

I suspect what’s working here are the vinegar and oil (canola) combination. I may try that next time. But if you have mayo, it works. Do spot test somewhere inconspicuous first, though.

Magic.

Ok! That’s it for this week.

Thanks, as ever for reading.

Extra special thanks to paid subscribers, who are the chosen children of the Great Cosmic Echidna. And please welcome Francoise to the paid subscriber fold. Thank you, ‘Coisie!

XOXO