Beloveds,
Break out the disco ball! We’re celebrating our first anniversary!
Read on for what I’ve learned this year and some super fun subscription information.
First, shout-outs and deep gratitude to Salma and Dan for joining the paid subscriber community. You are both so very special to me in such fun and different ways. Thank you!
And huge thanks to Ellen and Chanequa for continuing to send readers this way. Y’all rock!
Woo doggy. A whole year of Unruly Quaker!
I’ve learned —and relearned— a lot:
Relearned that I write for two reasons:
1. I write because I can’t not write. I have to, I am compelled to write in order to feel some semblance of peace in my soul.
2. I write to be read. And, hopefully, understood. Journaling is not my thing. For me, there is no better —or scarier— feeling than being published. It’s risk-taking and shit-kicking; it’s excitement and dread and fear and wonder and gratitude and joy all rolled into one. So— readers are essential. This is why Unruly Quaker is such a blessing - YOU. Y’all. Readers of Unruly Quaker. THANK YOU.
The stats on my posts makes me go, “Hmm.” I don’t write for popularity or votes or likes, but/and/so it’s supes interesting to see what people resonate with. Ya’ll seem to appreciate when I share about holy boldness and war machines and Quakerism and peace and grief and more grief and even more grief. History and books are cool. Recommendations for breakfast cookies and vibrators are fine. Criticizing jails is dandy. Y’all like to read about times I’ve messed up.
But/and BOY HOWDY some folks really, really don’t like it when I critique beloved institutions that hit closer to home, such as, oh gosh, I don’t know, maybe the Israeli Government, Democrats, the project of Zionism, The New York Times, or the idea of “Voting Blue No Matter Who.”
My most divisive post was this one. I turned off comments but got the most feedback. I stuck to my own experience and was as honest as I could be. It garnered the most likes, the most click-throughs on my research, a good number of new subscribers, and it’s the only time I’ve been unsubscribed by a paid subscriber (so far). That post was by far the hardest to write and publish. And one of the posts I’m most proud of. Which brings me to:
Honesty and emotional clarity above all. Grounded in history and research, always. Humor if I can. But honesty and specificity of emotions is the soul of narrative. Specificity is the soul of narrative.
My recommendation of Paca socks was a big help to many Christmas lists. I plan on doing Holiday gift recommendations again this year.
Two posts a week is too much work to reasonably maintain. This is hard to admit, but I’m working on being more humane to myself. As I’ve taken on a new job and responsibilities, I need to go easier. I’m aiming for a post a week. But it might not be the same day every week. Think slot machine. Intermittent rewards.
One of the most unexpected things over the year of Unruly Quaker is that now I write to make my almost-adult-child proud of me. I started out feeling like his teacher; now I feel like I owe it to him to speak the truth — and he holds me accountable.
Case in point: it was terribly difficult for me to write directly about campus protests, and to write more in a follow-up. Sure, in real life, I was calling for a ceasefire and speaking against genocide, no problem … but not here. Why? Fear. Fear, specifically, of alienating very close friends. Some of my dearest friends —and readers— are profoundly identified with Israel and Zionism. But I must also tell you that I have dear, dear, dear friends who are daily hurt by the project of American Imperialism and its close friend Zionism. I confess: I let my fear of personal conflict weigh more heavily on my spirit than my duty to truth and solidarity. I will regret that for a long time.
Anyway. It was my child who pushed me, pushed me, pushed me, to write about it here. He knew it was important, and important to my conscience, and he knows what it’s like to push through fear. I thank him for those pushes. (“Did he push you in them prickles, mate?”)
Writing is WORK. Sure, I feel compelled to do it, but guess what else?
It is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually taxing.
It is physically taxing - with arthritis, scoliosis, migraines, and light sensitivity, sitting down (or standing) to write is costly.
It takes twice as long to write a post as I think it will. Every time. I’ve learned to estimate, and then double it. “Mom, when will you be done writing?” [Thinks it will take two hours.] “Four hours. Maybe five.”
Paid subscriptions: many people are fair and some people are generous. Some of you blessed souls pay me for my work AND subsidize others if you can afford to.
I spent a good six months agonizing over how to make Unruly Quaker fair and equitable. I messed around with locking or boosting posts for paid subscriptions. Then a friend said, “I think we paid subscribers are happy to pay what we can, while keeping all your posts free. Let everyone read Unruly Quaker.” That was SUCH a blessing, Tom, and it’s how I’ve run things since. Which brings us to:
Subscription Noodles
As paid subscriptions come up for renewal, I hope you will renew. Doing so should be automatic and painless, but let me know if something comes up.
If you are new to Unruly Quaker, or a free reader, I ask you to please pay for a subscription if you can afford to do so.
Here’s a guideline: if you add grocery prices in your head at the store because you have a limit on what you can afford to put in your cart, you do not need to pay for a subscription. Please continue to read Unruly Quaker for free. Do share with friends — that is a huge help!
If you don’t need to do mental math at the grocery store, and you appreciate Unruly Quaker, please pay for a subscription. This pays me for my work and keeps Unruly Quaker free for others. It also helps subsidize my unpaid social justice endeavors.
You also get a shout out in a post unless you tell me not to.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, to each and every one of you. For reading, for reaching out, for sharing. Here’s to another year of sharing, musing, laughing, grieving.
Blessings on your heads.
May that D.J. in the sky, Great Cosmic Echidna, play all your favorite tunes.
XOXO
Happy Anniversary! It is my Sub-iversary so I will celebrate with you. Thanks for the shout-out. I was nodding in agreement with the quote about keeping "Notes" free before I read that I had written it! "Great Minds Think Alike" he says to himself (lol) I love the cute sticker at the end..."Be Gay; Do Crime" Let's be thankful those are not both the same thing (YET). Let's keep the Supreme Court from taking that away.